"To Sheila" by The Smashing Pumpkins

Twilight fades
Through blistered avalon
The skys cruel torch
On arching autobahn
Into the uncertain divine
We scream into the last divine

You make me real
You make me real
Strong as I feel
You make me real

Sheila rides on crashing nightingale
Intake eyes leave passing vapor trails
With blushing brilliance alive
Because its time to arrive

You make me real
You make me real
Strong as I feel
You make me real

Lately I just cant seem to believe
Discard my friends to change the scenery
It meant the wrold to hold a bruising faith
But now its just a matter of grace

A summer storm graces all of me
Highway warm sing silent poetry
I could bring you the light
And take you home into the night

You make me real
Lately I just cant seem to believe
You make me real
Discard my friends to change the scenery
Strong as I feel
It meant the wrold to hold a bruising faith
You make me real
But now its just a matter of grace

My friend- love and sympathy to protect you from a nasty storm of a world

I ended up living with someone this semester by chance, whom I had no idea that I would befriend, and a great friendship has blossumed from it.
I had never met someone who had such a great outlook on life, despite how many obstacles that they had to go through.
I loved talking with this person-- I felt that I could relate to them more than anyone.
He was able to challenge society, get people to think outside of the box.
He was in a wheelchair and had cerebal palsy.
(I had once been in a wheelchair after breaking my toe 5cm, and ended up getting surgery and having to be in a wheel chair after bed rest.
It was not until I broke my toe and was not as mobile, that I began to realize how evil the world was.
Breaking my toe and being confined to a wheelchair was probably one of the best experiences of my life. I came to realize how important our legs are, and how they are used everyday).

  When I came to Hampshire,  I was in a wheelchair, and I had difficulty getting around campus. I did not realize how the campus was only designed for able bodied people . This got me into disability rights and universal access activism, since I feel not enough people are aware of it, and how it effects everyone.

  It was really great to meet my housemate, since he also shared a passion for disability rights as well. 

He seemed to have this love for people, and was always willing to try to something new. He was at the Muslim students Iftar dinner, and he spoke about his love and passion for Sufism, a philosophical branch of Islam. When he shared his love and passion for this, this made me very happy. It reminded me of things that I am also passionate about, and how our passions radiate a sort of love towards others and humanity.

He never complained about anything, and we have never gotten into an arguement.

We shared so many interesting intellectual conversations.

He was all about challenging society, and how people looked at the world.

One thing that we had frequently talked about was sex and disability. He told me how society gives us the notion that disabled people are not sexual beings. He wanted to challenge that. He wanted people to treat him equally, and prove that he could do anything like everyone else.

I gave him the name of one of my good friends who is in a wheelchair and is writting a  play about people with disabilities and sex. I really supported his ideas, since I think that it is great that we deconstruct society.

He did talk about this frequently with my other house mates, who were all female.

Many felt uncomfortable with him, since they had to help put his shirt on, or they claimed the way he "stared" at them, was in a  "sexual way." I see where they were comming from, but I don't think that he meant it intentionally.

All of the anger in my apartment began to explode one night when we were talking about body shapes. He asked (and I came in late to the conversation and was tired), "why certain girls wear revealing clothing" since it may cause a man's attention. One of my housemates claimed that "you can not say that."  For me, I  said that one of my friends in high school challenged this, and brought up the idea how some very heavy girls would wear revealing clothing in order to break this stereotype. I know that he did not intentionally mean to ask it in a degrading way, but if I were male too, I would ask the same too. He claimed that there are biological things that men can not controll. Instead of shutting him down, I told him that I am interested in how the male mind works-- I want to understand their perspective. I feel that if a man says the wrong thing, then it is considered an offense. I thought that the conversation went well, and it was not until the next night did the girls want to discuss with me about what happened, and how they wanted him to leave, since they felt that he was "sexually harassing them".

 When I asked them about having a mediation (since personally  I feel the only way things can get solved and can we understand where each side is coming from is through mediation), one of them (who was a trained mediator in high school) claimed that " you don't have mediations with people who sexually harass you."

I am standing up for my friend  in a situation in which people wrongly interpreted and accussed him of things that he did not do or mean to do.

   

I have finally figured out who I am-- I am a humanist! :)

So I was reading some articles on the BBC about how Paul McCartney is/came to perform in Israel (I am not sure if he is currently there, but if someone could tell me now, that would be great! :) ). Anyways, I read the article about how his comming to perform in Israel was long awaited, since the Beatles were initially to perform in Israel in 1965, but the Israeli government felt that they would be a "bad influence" towards the Israeli youth. Yet Paul McCartney's visit this time was said to stir some controversies within Pro-Palestinian groups, since they were urging him not to go, due to the illegal occupation and settler activity. It just really angered me that they were trying to prevent him from going, due to the government's violations (However, with that being said, I just wanted to make clear to people that I DO NOT support the illegal occupation, nor the settlers-- nor any sort of violence inflicted on civilians).
But my question is, how is McCartney ever going to know how bad things are? How will continually telling someone not to go will solve anything? From my experience, if people tell you not to do something,it will make them want to do it more (Plus Tel Aviv, where he will be performing is within Israel proper). The only way that people will know how bad things are is by visiting it. The same goes for any other country-- China, Tibet, Turkey, Georgia, etc. 
However, pro-Palestinian groups should encourage McCartney to visit the occupied territories, and perform for the people there (which he did do-- he went to perform in Bethlehem, at the ). 

But there was one quote in the article that really struck out at me, which Mr.McCartney said, which I feel I can relate to myself:

"But the performer - who said he was not "a political animal [but] a humanitarian" - said he "thought it was a good time to come and take a look at the situation"."

Through reading this I have come to realize that politics divide people, and it's about time that I not worry about what others think of me politically, but rather focusing on promoting love and peace, and making sure that I can help all people in need and that I connect with their hearts. 
Politics makes us less open minded, and I don't want to succumb to that. I hate how it causes a dichotomy within the human race.
I see all people and things as good, and refuse to hate anyone anything.
I feel that it is easier to hate than to love, and so I must learn to love. If we have abandoned love how can we expect anything?
If we abandon dailogue, how are we going to expect progression towards peace?
I come to realize that we are all human, and that we all have a heart and a soul.
Let people realize things for themselves, as they discover the world around them.
Thank you Paul McCartney

here are the links about the articles on his trip to Israel:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/7636360.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/7633013.stm

Cry, Cry, Cry

Well this is my first blog post on here.

I wanted to share my thoughts and feelings with all my friends, family and loved ones.

Updates on my life, goals, dreams and actual reality.

Anyways, here is my favorite poem, by my favorite singer/songwriter/musician, Billy Corgan.

The poem has really captured the sad reality of the world, and that is that the world is cold, and it doesn't care.

Every time I read this poem, I feel like crying.
I wish that I still had a heart, but it became abused and raped long ago, deep down the gutter (Because I no longer have a heart).

Much Love,

Stephanie :)

Cry, Cry, Cry," by Billy Corgan

Cry, cry, cry for the brave and her passioned soldiers
Cry for the soul unsheltered from the storm
Cry for me, for I've lost my heart
Cry for yourself, unlucky to have been born
Cry out of anger, but don't cry of despair
For the world doesn't cry
They don't care